I'm in dilemma. Big dilemma about life.
I am the kind of person that enjoys planning my future, I like thinking about the wonderful possibilities and opportunities that may come. But sometimes thinking about the future hurts. It hurts in a way that it's uncertain, you can never be 110 percent sure that your prediction is accurate or that your plan is going to turn out well.
Sometimes I get reminded by the people around me to not think about the future so much or else I'm gonna miss the present. It is somehow true, but I can't help it. I feel like most of the time when I'm doing something it's an investment for the future. Downside of it though is that I don't even know what the future is like. The world is constantly changing and nobody knows what it's like, as close they are to predicting.
The funny thing is when i finally try to live in the present, I get anxious and worried thinking about the future as it can be anytime, without even me noticing it's already the future. I get anxious because I'm worried that if it comes and I'm not prepared, how am I supposed to handle it?
For some people, I might appear as a person who is fearless and open to new things. But if there's anything I'm afraid of and I get lots of panic attacks on, it's the future. I get scared sometimes that the future will hurt. I have experienced some things that were planned on a certain way but ended up going to a different direction because of the future's uncertainty. This topic has left me waking up tired for way too many times, and I can't even figure it out still.
That being said it makes me wonder, should we think about the future? X
- A
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